Finding Happiness by Learning to Trust.

Striving for the elusive feeling of “happiness”. We say the word a lot and expect to feel happy a lot, but what does your version of happy look like? There are books written on happiness, courses on happiness, but do we know what really makes us happy? Happiness is like an elusive enigma that we are ultimately trying to achieve with our goals and actions. Striving for happiness has become our cultural norm, even if we may not recognise it.

If I dig down deep enough into the goals that clients want coaching for,… whether it’s business, confidence, anxiety issues, or to help them identify more with themselves and who they are, the “why” behind the goal is always “because I want to be happy”. People think if they could just achieve this one thing, own this one thing, be more this or feel more that… then that must make them happy. We are all aware that happiness is the goal… and we are always striving for it.

“Once I get the bigger house… then I’ll be happy” “Once I lose 20lb, then I’ll be happy”. But are we looking for our happiness in the wrong places? In shopping malls and consuming, on our appearances to the outside world? In searching for love? For the next promotion? And when that “thing” we’ve been trying to obtain and achieve doesn’t make us happy at all, it can leave us feeling resentful and empty.

What we forget to realise is what happiness means to us. We are all different, all with our own quirks, unique ways of looking at the world and what makes us feel alive! It is very likely that my idea of happiness — a feeling of contentment and an inner wellbeing, is likely to be very opposite to what would make you happy. Neither are wrong, they’re just as individual as we are. Happiness will not necessarily come from buying more things… or eating more cake or finding a new partner.

It is our own responsibility to find out what our own personal happiness prescription is. What lights us up, makes our heart happy and our soul sing? What is that one thing that you look forward to doing and try to make it a priority in our life? It is our duty to ourselves to find out. To search beyond the material, look inward and ask ourselves if any of the things that we do on a day to day basis are really making us happy?

We are so busy, caught up in the hustle, being determined, driving forward and taking action that we miss the bigger picture, the synchronicities that are being shown to us. Perhaps what we really need is to slow our pace, trust that we are being guided and the paths that are being shown to us, to help us succeed… but only if our eyes are open to the signs. We must slow down to help us to be able to see the process, the small pieces of information that are essentially the answers we are looking for to achieve our happiness.

There is reassurance in knowing that we are not only being guided, but that whatever lies ahead we will be able to trust and believe that there is a reason for it. My happiness comes from knowing that what ever does lie ahead, whatever that looks like, I am supported and I am being given this situation for a reason, as a gift (although it usually does NOT feel like a gift!) to propel me higher, get me closer to my goal, to empathise and for an opportunity to grow.

Can you think of a time when you experienced what felt like a disaster — redundancy, diagnosis, heartbreak, bankruptcy, accidents, addictions?

These are usually the times of great growth — as often we become so desperate that all we can do is TRUST, by putting our faith in something bigger than ourselves and trusting the process entirely. We are liberating ourselves from the hustle, from the grind. We know we must work hard, we know

where we want to be… but we don’t necessarily know the how. How are we going to get what we want?

We don’t need to know the how… we just need to know that we trust in the process.

To those who have their 5- and 10-year plans, everything seemingly planned out, things could change in an instant; one phone call, one opportunity taken or missed, one conversation could change the outcome and course of your life. I feel a great sense of relief and peace from knowing that everything not only happen for a reason, but also for your higher good. Life works for us, not to us.

Slow down, look for the path, learn the lesson, hold the belief that comes from trusting in the process. Keep the faith and find out what your happiness looks like to you, not society’s version. Live your life your way. Get rid of the expectation from families, society and social media. You have a unique path with unique gifts, know that they will be used to fulfil your highest potential.

Trust, strive, know your happiness, belief in yourself and the process called life!



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Life and performance coach - host of So... that got me thinking Podcast.